Gotta Love America

Recent Craigslist rant and rave finding...

'Burger regret'

"Shortly after consuming half a 9 lb. pizza burger, I began to sweat profoundly and hallucinate. Nine hours later I had a colostomy bag installed and a lung removed."



My first thoughts were somewhere along the lines of 'that is f***ing disgusting', if that's not what they were for you, then something is wrong with you. But then I couldn't figure out if I felt sorry for the poor bloke who was stupid enough to try to eat a goddamn 9 LB PIZZA BURGER. So wait, I'm confused... It's a pizza and a burger? Oh, I get it. They used 2 full blown pizzas as the buns. Nope, don't feel sorry for you. As if Americanized pizza wasn't fattening enough. We had to go and put a cow patty in the middle. I'm trying to do the math here... According to Yahoo! Answers, 1 pizza approx. = 1.5 lbs. x 2 = 3 lbs. So your telling me you tried to eat a 6 lb burger and 3 lbs of pizza at the same time?! Way to go, man. No wonder you wound up in the ER. Maybe you should call up Jared from Subway for some nutrition advice, that's just foul.

Faces

I have no friends, so I draw my own.

UNTITLED

(charcoal and pencil)

JON

(oil pastel on blackboard)

Heel Kicks

As you all know, my good friend Jess and I have a dirty hobby of cyberly talking about the happenin', hip shit. Like true artists, we try to keep a non-materialistic motive, but that never really works out. We like to talk about fashion... I mean what do you expect? We're girls. Which means we love shoes. And if there is one post-college thing I can conclude about the two of us, it's that she likes sneakers, and I like heels. Its kinda like how Keanan feels about.... tittays?

Nevertheless, Jess is a street sneaker connoisseur, and a beautiful stiletto to me is pretty much an aphrodisiac. With this in mind, I have created the dirtiest, street loving, chic shoe ever known to mankind. I give you the Jessica Chinn......



Sporty sneaker or sexy cutout bootie? I say yes to both.



Perforated leather bootie with open toe and cutout heel. Lace-up closure at front and Velcro closure at ankle. 1.25" covered platform and 4.5" covered wedge heel. Distressed rubber sidewall and sole.

Whether you hittin' the street or the strip club, retailing for $3,500 you can't go wrong.

Money Matters

So I saw Transformers 2. It was amazing. You can immediately tell how much more money they had for round duex. Shia-boof beefed up, but I never got the shirtless shot I was waiting for. And then there's this....