'Burger regret'
"Shortly after consuming half a 9 lb. pizza burger, I began to sweat profoundly and hallucinate. Nine hours later I had a colostomy bag installed and a lung removed."
My first thoughts were somewhere along the lines of 'that is f***ing disgusting', if that's not what they were for you, then something is wrong with you. But then I couldn't figure out if I felt sorry for the poor bloke who was stupid enough to try to eat a goddamn 9 LB PIZZA BURGER. So wait, I'm confused... It's a pizza and a burger? Oh, I get it. They used 2 full blown pizzas as the buns. Nope, don't feel sorry for you. As if Americanized pizza wasn't fattening enough. We had to go and put a cow patty in the middle. I'm trying to do the math here... According to Yahoo! Answers, 1 pizza approx. = 1.5 lbs. x 2 = 3 lbs. So your telling me you tried to eat a 6 lb burger and 3 lbs of pizza at the same time?! Way to go, man. No wonder you wound up in the ER. Maybe you should call up Jared from Subway for some nutrition advice, that's just foul.
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